Reverie to the Past

You’re back again, at night
I sleep and there you are hovering
Over my slumber, as if a whirlwind I
Can’t escape from; but it’s easy,
I don’t want to run, although my
Heart stops hammering for an instant
As you pass. You greet me in silent
Measure with a wink
And a smile, and my heart thaws
Just like years before. I thought
I was over that. Present. You are
Skinnier, and cuter than I remembered;
Still, somehow I verbalize
All the right things
This time. All the occasions before
Were rehearsal for this singular
Moment.
Let’s do lunch. Here’s my number.
You glance through me, seemingly
Not beyond my soul, so
I have to laugh at the tension that
Builds in my head. I am
Grown now; old and wise in self
Proclamation, I shouldn’t feel,
But shouldn’t is just a word and
You are just a boy from a dream.

As the Fog Lifts

Huh, the title reads like the name of soap opera or something. Well the November haze of Nano is over now and suddenly it occurred to me this morning there are only three weeks until Christmas. Wow. Kind of fast moving again this year but seriously, what year isn’t anymore right?

All this holiday talk has reminded me that red and green work together in such a pleasing color combination, especially when used in varying shades and tones. I like the way sage green and cranberry, plus a little gold sprinkled in for sparkle, looks together. It is perfect on the wreath on my front door.

Funny though, I don’t really ever decorate for the holidays anymore, other than that fake pine wreath. It isn’t that I don’t believe in the holiday spirit or anything, frankly it’s just because I’m lazy. Plain and simple.

I barely see the point of putting out a whole slew of stuff all over my house, that no one will see but us because everyone is far too busy running around doing their own holiday things, that I just have to take back down and put in the basement for the next 49 weeks before doing it all over again.

Something just gets lost on me when I realize the only one who will see the wreath is our letter carrier because everyone else uses the side door. Am I too cynical? Maybe that’s it, but between the pressure to send out cards, torn wrapping paper, empty bank accounts and countless hours spent in return lines, I frequently understand the inclination to follow Pagan traditions of the celebration of returning light and that whole ‘eat, drink and be merry’ attitude instead of the ‘buy, buy, BUY’ mentality that seems to accompany this season now a days.

Seriously, Dar Williams hits it right on the money here.

Anyway, regardless of all of that, we have a few awesome events coming up this year. We get to see not just one but two amazing choirs perform their holiday songs next weekend! My mom’s best friend sings in one that plays a bit north of us and Bridgete sings in one a bit south of us. Can’t wait to hear the tunes, these concerts are always so uplifting!

Another cool thing about Bridgete’s is that her mom will be in town so hopefully I’ll finally get to meet the always awesome KC! After meeting Bridgete’s dad at Thanksgiving and laughing over dinner for like three straight hours I have no doubt we’ll have just as much fun with her mom.

I have some other exciting news about Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve but can’t really divulge just yet so stay tuned for the update…

In the meantime I’m going to go make a Holiday playlist on iTunes. Yes I mean holiday and not just Christmas because I plan to include things like Adam Sandler’s Hanukah and Thanksgiving songs, Chicago’s Saturday In the Park and Jason’s Remedy (both for their 4th of July references), NKOTB Valentine Girl, Dan Fogelberg’s Auld Lang Syne, Monster Mash, maybe a few selections from Jesus Christ Superstar and perhaps You’re Not Irish by Robbie O’Connell. Plus of course a bunch of Christmas tunes that I love. Hmmm, does anyone know of any good songs about Flag Day, President’s Day, MLK Day, Boxing Day…

More Than Ever Before

There was no fanfare, just Matt pumping his fist into the air and saying something like ‘woo hoo, that’s so awesome!’

The characters decided to kind of write themselves; a lot like life I guess. They just did what they wanted and made me tell their story. Which I was happy to do, it was fun.

As I finished the last line at about eight o’clock last night I felt no relief or huge exhalation of greatness or anything. That is mostly due to the fact that I know that I now have to rewrite basically the entire book through editing. But this is the fun part.

This is also the part I have become intimately familiar with over the past quarter century that I have been writing so it should be a no brainer; sort of.

All of my early journals are filed with stories that have lines crossed out and written over the top of, or they include circled paragraphs at the very top of the page, written as small as the type on a bottle of medicine to ensure maximum capacity, that trail long wavy lines indicating they should be inserted in other places on the page. My internal editor is ready and willing to tackle the next challenge.

I already know there is quite a bit of content that is going to be crossed out, not to mention the thousands of words that will meet their demise through the delete button. It is okay though, I fully anticipated getting rid of them even when I was writing them. That’s what the ‘Save As’ feature is for. ‘Save As’ draft 2 - Ripple the Twine is going to be well underway starting tomorrow.

Funny thing is I felt like maybe there would be some kind of let down or sense of loss inside this morning. Instead I slept until ten. I can barely remember the last time I did that but it felt good to wake up completely refreshed, knowing the bulk of these characters were purged out of my brain. Plus I slept great knowing I didn’t kill off the character I considered killing off a long time ago, they made it to the final scene. For now.

Once I uploaded the manuscript last night and claimed my shiny new winner badge I decided to hit the forums for a few minutes to read about other people who had made it through the proverbial rain. Turns out there were quite a few. One of the most interesting things I read was a thread where the poster asked how everyone’s families reacted to their win.

So many people made mention that no one in their circle truly understood what it meant to “win”. I could relate to what they were saying. Parents, siblings and friends of these people were saying things like ‘well if you don’t actually win anything, what’s the point?’ and the Wrimos who won simply let it roll off their shoulders. Because that’s what writers do. We develop thick skins that allow us to be present for the war but never impaled by the jabs of other’s daggers.

Or something like that.

After I wrote my final line I went outside to get a little fresh air for what felt like the first time in a month and I too was greeted by a whole bunch of nothing. Barely a car went down the street, no paparazzi were standing outside my door, no one chased me down the street for an autograph. But you know something? I couldn’t have cared less because for the first time in my life I could truly call myself a novelist, something I had aspired to be for years, and that alone was the greatest personal achievement of my life to date.

So what’s next? Well I feel so strongly about my characters and the content of this story that I do plan to edit the hell out of it a few times, hand over a copy to some friends and relatives for genuine feedback, rewrite it again and then get cracking on learning how to write a kick ass query letter because this one is getting published.

Then one of my other life long dreams will be complete, I can actually refer to myself as a published Novelist.